ow's this for an idea? A translation of Scripture that takes postmodern inclusiveness to the furthest extreme, dumbs down the text to something less than MTV level, and changes all the politically-incorrect parts to make them teach the opposite of what they mean?
It's been done. Seriously. I'm not making this up.Titled Good As New: A Radical Retelling of the Scriptures, this atrocity actually carries a foreword by Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury, the highest-ranking minister in the Anglican Church.
The author, however, is a former British Baptist minister, not an Anglican. John Henson now identifies himself as a member of One, "a network of radical Christians."
Williams's foreword claims Henson's perversion of Scripture actually aims to show us "What . . . Christianity [would] look like, what . . . Christian language [would] sound like, if we really tried to screen out the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies and to hear as if for the first time what the Christian scriptures were saying."
Yeah, right. Henson substitutes modern nicknames for most of the characters in Scripture. Peter is called "Rocky," Mary Magdalene is "Maggie," Aaron is "Ron," and Barabbas is shortened to "Barry."
Here's a typical sample, taken from Mark 1:10-11—Mark's account of Jesus' baptism: "As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!'"
Or consider Jesus' rebuke of the Pharisees in Matthew 23:25 ("Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!") Henson reimagines it this way: "Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!"
But that's not the worst of it. Henson's version often turns the Bible's meaning on its head. Consider, for example, 1 Corinthians 7:1-2. In the King James Version, it says, "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
Henson renders it this way: "Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from each other. That is more likely to lead to sexual offences. My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner."
When he gets to 1 Corinthians 7:9 ("If they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn"), Henson's revision reads: "If you know you have strong needs, get yourself a partner. Better than being frustrated."
Of course, the revision also removes every condemnation of homosexuality and carefully feminizes the language. In fact, the publisher's catalog copy for the book describes it as "women, gay and sinner friendly."
Here's a Web page with some samples of this abomination, if you want to read more.
The irony is that "Good As New" is being marketed as a tool for helping 21st-century readers "hear for the first time what the Christian Scriptures were saying." What it's really designed to do is just the opposite.
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