- How You Were Programmed
Finding the Balance
They Conclude with:Be-Attitudes of Daily Living
- "Be positive. Set priorities by determining what's most important and why it's important. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you tackle mundane chores with a positive attitude and sacrificial enthusiasm, that'll be half the battle.
- Be unselfish. Pull your own weight. Don't expect your future mate to do all or even most of the work. Step up to the plate and do your fair share. On the other hand, don't keep score if you feel you're pulling more of the load. Adjust when needed.
- Be willing to use your skills and abilities. Use your strengths. If he's a good cook and she's a good mechanic, go for it. Don't feel tied to traditional duties. Use each other's skills to your mutual benefit.
- Be a team. Take on jobs as a team — "divide and conquer." Just be sure to choose duties together and compromise when necessary.
- Be servants. Just as Jesus washed the disciples' feet when they least expected it, serve your future mate by doing a chore without him or her knowing about it or by making dinner when he or she has had a tough day.
- Be content. You know there will always be things that need to be done, but avoid becoming discontent and grumbling about what's inevitable. Chores are a part of life.
- Be adaptable to the changes of life. When one of you is sick or working extra hours, pick up the slack for him or her for a while.
- Be careful to use time management. We can always put off those mundane, boring things, but they'll just pile up and get worse. Manage your time so you can deal with chores on a daily or weekly basis, and you'll be better off".
Dale and Susan Mathis work with couples in premarital counseling and serve as facilitators and mentors for their church's premarital ministry. Dale has two master's degrees in counseling and has worked in counseling and human resources for over 30 years. Susan, a former teacher, is editorial director of nine Focus on the Family publications. She has written hundreds of articles and columns for magazines and newspapers.
Dale and Susan make their home in Colorado Springs and have five adult children and one granddaughter.
Their article is an excerpt from their book, Countdown for Couples.