You know you are not Reformed if:

. . . you think the Apostles Creed is the guy who fought Rocky in Rocky I.
. . . you think the Canons of Dort are like the Guns of Navarrone.
. . . you think Ursinus is a nasal condition.
. . . you think Arminians are the people who run convenience stores.
. . . you think the Belgic Confession was from WWII war crimes trials.
. . . you think “popery” in the church makes it smell flowery.
. . . you think the psalter goes with the pepper shaker.
. . . you think unconditional election is a practice of communist dictatorships.
. . . the only “kirk” you know is from Star Trek.
. . . you think the Three Forms of Unity are health, wealth, and happiness.
. . . you think “catechism” and “dogma” relate to pets.
. . . you think Post Tenebras Lux is a breakfast cereal (it’s actually the motto of post-Reformation Geneva).
(h.t. Pat Yamada)