So, I just got an email from Amazon. "Use Your Amazon Prime Free Two-Day Shipping This Gifting Season."
"Gifting" season?
So now we're not even celebrating anything or having a some sort of "holiday?" There's just this arbitrary time of year -- oh, let's say when the weather turns colder -- when millions worldwide inexplicably go out and "gift" each other?
Now, obviously I'm making a bigger deal of this than it is. But I thought that if Amazon was going to come up with its own name for The Holiday That Must Not Be Named, we could be creative too. What are your suggestions for new, PC ways to refer to the season?
__________________________________________________________________From Amazon's perspective, gifting is perfect. For them, that's what it's all about, Alfie!
I propose the "trying to get everything bought, baked, and decorated, and driving around to events" season. I suppose that's a little large for a webpage banner, though.
Posted by: pentamom at December 12, 2006 11:25 AMSo ugly to use "gifted" as a verb in the first palce. I mean, there are good uses for such -- "the Lord gifted him with the power of forceful speech" is an example in my dictionary. But in ordinary parlance, "give" works quite well. Please.
Posted by: at December 12, 2006 11:28 AMHow about: "Retail Season"...or just "Retail."
"Merry Retail!"
"Have you gotten your Retail cards in the mail yet?"
"My kids are on Retail break."
No more "Christmas lists." "Retail list" is a much more accurate moniker.
This also works well with a Christmas, er, Retail tree, which is festooned with items bought retail and around which lie gifts purchased from retailers.
Posted by: Lynn Vincent at December 12, 2006 11:31 AMWe could call the day Eatspendday and the season Eatspendtide.
Posted by: Kathy at December 12, 2006 11:31 AM6
Frankly, I like The Holiday Which Must Not Be Named. [Insert minor chord from pipe organ here]
Just the sound of it connotes a certain sinister ring, which the left is working so hard to ascribe to it anyway.
Posted by: Marcus Aurelius at December 12, 2006 11:44 AMJesus Season?
Oh sorry, we wanted PC not neo-con fantasy?
I'll try again.
I think "Celebration Season" is a good one. It has a festive appeal and it's easily defensable in sound bites when Bill O'Riely calls you a secular jew-bag liberal aimed at undermining god & freedom, and running profits to terrorists.
"The idea that we are pushing an agend is laughable. We just want to focus on the celebrations going on across the country and the reasons for families coming together this time of year."
Yeah that works for me. Wrap it up.
Posted by: Luke at December 12, 2006 11:52 AMSaw a website with this banner yesterday....
Christmas is not about your birthday.
Would look good on a T shirt and off the subject at hand.
Posted by: jpayne at December 12, 2006 11:57 AM"Get What You Want Day"
Followed by "Take Back What You Don't Want Day"
Posted by: Mickey McLean at December 12, 2006 12:02 PMHow about "I get the day off for reasons I can't discuss and I still get to take the Jewish Holidays" Day?
Posted by: at December 12, 2006 12:21 PMVery nice, Mickey. How about ...
Merry Season for No Particular Reason!
Posted by: Xion at December 12, 2006 12:23 PMI like something all-inclusive like "Enjoy the Christmas/Hannukah/Ramadan/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstace/Festivus Season".
Posted by: elf at December 12, 2006 12:46 PMActually, Nick, Hanukkah has and would stand on its own.
Jesus celebrated Hanukkah (Feast of Dedication - John 10:22)
Posted by: jenjefer at December 12, 2006 12:53 PM"Gift" is also the German word for poison. Have a Wonderful Poisoning Season!
Posted by: trr at December 12, 2006 01:10 PMWell I don't know 'bout you folks, but out here it shall be "FESTIVUS FOR THE REST-OF-US!!!"
so find a metal pole and continue the "airing of grievances"....
Feel the love?
Posted by: michaelangelo at December 12, 2006 01:18 PMLarry Norman commented on this trend thirty years ago in his song "Christmastime":
"Santa Claus is comin' and the kids are gettin' greedy. They know it's in the store because they saw it on the TV.
It used to be the birthday of the man who saved our necks. But now it stands for Santa Claus, and you spell it with an X."
Posted by: Eddie at December 12, 2006 01:19 PM40
Let's put the "X" back in X-mas.
Merry X-mas to all!
******I used to believe this was an insult too, but, actually, it isn't.
The "X" is an abbreviation for the word that means Christ in Greek. It is the same as the X in IXOYE.
Posted by: TRS at December 12, 2006 02:43 PMHow about we just come up with some weird symbol like Prince did and call it "The holiday formally know as Christmas".
Posted by: kBells at December 12, 2006 02:57 PM44
Ed, you forgot that Cabbage Patch phase a few years back. You could make a plausible argument that some have been murdered for Santa.
As for a name, how about The-mania-that-precedes-the-depression?
Posted by: adios at December 12, 2006 03:06 PMCan't we all just get along?
Maybe we should just make it "Kiss and Make up day"
or
"Sappy, Syruppy, Mushy FeelGood Day"
or
"Happy Happy Joy Joy Day"
I'm sure that Amazon would like to have:
"Amazon Day"
Ed... take some anger management classes...
Here's some for you:
"Worshipful Science Day"
"Happy Empericist Day"
"Merry Evolution to you"
And just for Luke, since he's being such a grinch too...
"Gayful Pride Day"
We could have new songs to go along with these days too...
"Joy to the Planet" or "Joy to Mother Earth"
"Good Atheist's Rejoice"
"Ding Dong the Wicked Christmas is Dead"
Ok.. enuff with the bad corny junk...
Posted by: JimU at December 12, 2006 04:41 PM
