Grieving with Those Who Grieve

"All men must die; but as men’s lives are very different, so their account in death also. To an ungodly man death is a loss, the greatest loss: but to a believer it is gain, the greatest gain." (Thomas Boston)

"There is a great deal of difference between the desires of heaven in a sanctified man and an unsanctified. The believer prizeth it above earth, and had rather be with God than here (though death that stands in the way, may possibly have harder thoughts from him). But to the ungodly, there is nothing seemeth more desirable than this world; and therefore he only chooseth heaven before hell, but not before earth; and therefore shall not have it upon such a choice." (Richard Baxter)

By Justin Taylor

Robert Godfrey writes: "Our avoidance of death as a subject means that often we do not know how to speak to those who are grieving. What should we do as individuals and as Christian communities to offer comfort to those who mourn? That is a question that must be addressed in every church. It is a question that each of us will encounter in our lives."

To help the church learn how to counsel those who are grieving--an area about which I have much to learn--Dr. Godfrey interviewed Hilda Ozinga, whose husband Norman died in 1982. Her words contain helpful lessons on what we can do, say, and avoid.

I'd also recommend Dustin Shramek's chapter in Suffering and the Sovereignty of God.

As pointed out in the comments section below, htere is also a helpful article by Dan Doriani entitled Miscarriage: A Death in the Family, that recounts his own family's situation and then looks at ways in which to minister to, comfort, and serve those who are grieving.