The Bizarro World of the "Christian" Internet

The Bizarro World of the "Christian" Internet

by Kim Riddlebarger @ http://kimriddlebarger.squarespace.com/

You have undoubtedly noticed that there are some very bizarre blogs and websites out there supporting fringe movements or causes from a supposedly "Christian" perspective.

The following links were all sent to me by faithful readers of this blog, who wish to go nameless, or who need to remain nameless for their own protection! I have been saving them for one bizarro world of "Christian" blogging post. Here it is.

I thought about attempting some insightful analysis for some of these, but they are so off the wall that no analysis is required. I also seriously thought about never posting these because they are so tacky. But then these things are out there, just waiting to be lampooned! In any case, look and wince at your own risk.

First up is the Bible in "Klingon." Click here: Klingon Language Version of the World English Bible. For Pete's sake, who on earth has time to prepare and maintain such a thing? In case you are wondering, Romans 4:5 in Klingon is . . . 'ach Daq ghaH 'Iv ta'be' vum, 'ach HartaH Daq ghaH 'Iv Daj HartaHghach ghaH vaD aQtaHghach. Helps me understand more about an "alien" righteousness. It also makes me wonder why there isn't an on-line Bible in Esperanto?

Next is the "Christian" Goth website (Click here: Christian Goth). Yes, "Christian" Goth. . . This site purports itself as a witness or support group to Goth kids, who are judged by non-Goths (presumably middle age bald guys like me) as evil non-comformists who are fascinated with death and vampires. If Christian Goths have their own website, then we need a support group for middle age Christian bald guys (I wonder if the "nogginbloggin" domain name is taken?). We can base it on my theory that hair is a result of the fall and that I am already in a semi-eschatological state. If we could get endorsements from Chuck Smith and Dr. Phil, we'd be set!

Third on the list is what has to the worst possible bizarro offender (in my estimation), and that is a web site devoted to marital aids for Christians (gasp). The woman who runs this site has made quite a name for herself (in addition to a lot of money), because various news agencies have mentioned her on-line business with catchy bylines such as "Click here: TheStar.com - Website sells sex toys but only to believers." Now don't click here and then complain to me about what you find. It is as tacky as you think it is going to be. (BTW--the person who sent me this link needs to make the payment we agreed upon, or I will "h.t." you!)

Then comes the infamous "Fig Leaf Forum" a web site for Christian nudists. Yes, that's right, Christian nudists . . . Click here: Fig Leaf Forum - Fellowship, edification and encouragement for Christian nudists and naturists. In the words of one of the subscribers, "Fig Leaf Forum has done much to reconcile my Christian faith with the enjoyment I derive from simply being in the nude, both at home and with others in appropriate social settings. I thank you sincerely for the insight you have provided in the matter of Christian-based nudism. I am proud to be a subscriber." See, I'll bet you didn't know that nudism and Christianity could be reconciled. Well, now you do . . . and you'll have to follow the link to find out how.

Last and certainly not least, is the "Christian" tattoo association. I'd place this one in the same league with a "Christian T-Shirt" society--thoroughly tacky and not quite the "witness" those who post here want to think that it is. The surest way to end this fad is post pictures of the tattoos service men got in WW2. That screaming eagle (which seemed like a good idea in 1942) is now a faded buzzard. Click here: Christian Tattoo Association Community ~ a Runboard.com free message board.

Yes, there is a bizarro internet world out there . . .