"De-churched"-Matt Chandler

"Preaching the Gospel to the De-churched"
Advance09

PAMIC: People Against Massages In Church

Tony Reinke @ http://spurgeon.wordpress.com describes what not to do this morning in worship:

One of the first churches my wife and I attended was also home to a publicly cuddly wify type (a PCW). Right during the sermon—and often for the duration of the message!—this woman’s red fingernails were busy scratching away at the back of her husband’s neck, eventually twirling his hair, and then rubbing his shoulders, and then back to the scalp scratching. It became a one-handed, unending cycle of scratching, twirling, and rubbing.

I’m sure the husband enjoyed the sermon. But the public massage fest was distracting for the 20 rows of unfortunate spectators behind the couple. It is almost impossible not to notice this activity (red fingernail polish didn’t help). And following the sermon became an almost impossible task. I can imagine a letter from Screwtape to Wormwood on the importance of encouraging wives to massage at church.

All this to say, I have been personally effected by the spiritual distraction caused by massages in church. Today I sign the manifesto to join People Against Massages In Church (PAMIC). Join me, and together we can put an end to this disruptive practice.

Another Reason not to have icons

priceless church statue mishap

Why you Don't bring your Bike to Church

Layman's guide to the key drivers of the 21st century church

Seven Solas of the Modern Church

Scott Brown @ http://www.scottbrownonline.com lists the Seven Solas of the Modern Church.

1. Sola Cultura - let culture define church life
2. Sola Successa - let numerical success legitimize activities
3. Sola Entertaina - let entertainment be the guiding principle
4. Sola Edificia - let the edifice be the center of church life
5. Sola Programma - let programs dominate the peoples time
6. Sola Thralldoma – let the people be enslaved by whatever thrills them
7. Sola Processa – let the church be managed by business philosophies and processes

Contrast these with The Five Solas of the Protestant Reformation.

The Apathy Of The Modern Church - John MacArthur

Part 1 of 2 -10 min


Part 2 of 2 -9 min

Bad Ministry Idea: Church organizes support for Britney Spears

The Associated Press @ http://www.ctv.ca

LEXINGTON, Kentucky -- The congregation of Southland Christian Church is being asked to send letters of love and support to troubled pop star Britney Spears, described by the pastor as having made "devastating life choices."

"Take a few minutes and write a note to Britney Spears," pastor John Weece said in a sermon and in a blog on the church Web site. "No preaching. No criticizing. Just love. As a church, let's love Britney the way Jesus loves her."

Weece said the idea came as he watched repeated reports of Spears' reported problems with drugs and alcohol and the loss of custody of her children.

"If she were your next-door neighbor in the same situation without the money and success, wouldn't you care about her problems? Wouldn't you pray for her and offer her support and encouragement?" he asked members of the church.

Cindy Willison, the church's director of communications, was still collecting the letters on Friday and looking for the best way to get them directly to Spears.

"This is an opportunity for us to reach out to someone who probably doesn't have a lot of people in her life that care for her as a person," Willison said.

Welcome: Find Your Own Truth

by Melinda @http://str.typepad.com

Paging through Time magazine this week I came across an amusing ad from the Unitarian Universalist Congregations. It's amusing to me to see how far this "denomination" will go to abandon all vestiges of religion and objective belief. But they do seem to reflect the spirit of our culture about religion: individualism and relativism. They do have their fingers on the pulse of the nation. Unfortunately, religion is more about medicine than ice cream socials, offering a remedy for what ails mankind rather than catering to our sweet tooth.

Here's the message of the ad: (on the link, look to the right margin for a picture of it)

is GOD keeping you from going to CHURCH?

Maybe you're uncomfortable with the idea of God - or at least someone else's idea of God. Yet maybe you yearn for a loving, spiritual community where you can be inspired and encouraged as you search for your own truth and meaning. This is a church, you ask? Welcome to Unitarian Universalism.

You can just hear how "GOD" is supposed to be pronounced here - Gawwwwd. (Use a stereotypical televangelist voice when saying it.) It's scary. Off putting. And since "CHURCH" is also highlighted, I guess that's another scary word. That's why it's the Unitarian Universalist Congregations, not Church.

But maybe, in truth, God is scary because we're at odds with Him. Shouldn't we face that fact rather than making people comfortable to find their own idea of God they like? God's going to be a lot scarier on judgment day if we've taken solace from our own truth and meaning rather than reconciling with Him. It won't be very "nurturing to your soul" to meet God on your own.

Notice that they invite people to search for their "own truth and meaning," which doesn't necessarily include any God at all.

We can agree that we're not looking for "someone else's idea of God." But where we disagree is that we should be looking for God's idea about Himself that He's revealed to us out of grace and love.

This may be a pleasant welcome to a Unitarian Universalist congregation, but I doubt it'll be a pleasant welcome when meeting God.

How NOT to "Do Church": The Man Church

You have to see this to believe it. (Caution: Some of the language is not appropriate).

CLICK HERE to see another video link from Fox News about this "church".

10 Ways for Worship Leaders to Hinder the Church

Drive-through church

A picture of the modern day "feed me" church mentality

"There's Not Much Lord in this Church Service"

By Albert Mohler @ http://www.albertmohler.com

The movement toward gender-neutral language for God has picked up steam in recent years, and liberal churches have been busy rewriting language for worship and theology. Just last year the Presbyterian Church (USA) voted to "receive" a document that called for Father, Son, and Holy Spirit to be replaced or supplemented with triads such as "Sun, Light, and Burning Ray," "Overflowing Font, Living Water, and Flowing River," and Fire that Consumes, Sword that Divides, and Storm that Melts Mountains."

That report even suggested an explicitly female triad -- "Compassionate Mother, Beloved Child, Life-Giving Womb." The report was controversial, but this kind of nonsense has been spreading for some time now. Many feminists simply insist that they cannot or will not worship a God who names Himself exclusively in male terms. Yet, to rename God is to create an idol -- a false god of our own creativity and invention. Put simply -- God gets to name Himself.

Now, a report out of Tucson, Arizona indicates just how far many churches have already gone down the road of reinventing God. As Stephanie Innes reports in the Arizona Daily Star, some churches have banished the word "Lord."

From her article:

At Tucson's largest Episcopal church, St. Philip's in the Hills, the creators of an alternative worship service called Come & See are bucking tradition by rewriting what have become prescribed ways of worship.

For the faithful, that means God isn't referred to as "him," and references to "the Lord" are rare.

"Lord" has become a loaded word conveying hierarchical power over things, "which in what we have recorded in our sacred texts, is not who Jesus understood himself to be," St. Philip's associate rector Susan Anderson-Smith said.

"The way our service reads, the theology is that God is love, period," St. Philip's deacon Thomas Lindell added. "Our service has done everything it can to get rid of power imagery. We do not pray as though we expect the big guy in the sky to come and fix everything."

These statements are nothing short of amazing. It is hard to imagine that they are meant to be taken seriously, but they clearly are. Take, for example, Susan Anderson-Smith's argument that the word Lord "has become a loaded word conveying hierarchical power over things." Has become such a word? The word, translated from both Greek and Hebrew word forms, has always meant hierarchy. Indeed, the word is meaningless without that meaning. Later, she expanded this point even further:

In the strictest Christian sense, "Lord" comes from the Greek word kyrios, which Greek culture in the first century understood in much different ways, Anderson-Smith said. Evidence suggests the word was used in talking about Jesus as the fullest embodied revelation of God, but it had a lot less to do with hierarchy than what the word means now, she said.

Once again, her statements are directly at odds with the truth -- and a truth quite easily demonstrated. There is not only every reason to reject her argument that "Lord" is more hierarchical in meaning today than in the biblical era -- there is good reason to see the truth as the precise opposite of her argument. Indeed, the most powerful display of the essentially hierarchical nature of this divine title is found in the New Testament itself:

Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father [Philippians 2:9-11].

This verse stresses the hierarchical nature of the title. One day, every single knee will bow to Jesus Christ as Lord. It should go without saying that no creature will miss the hierarchical character of that moment.

The problem is deepened when Anderson-Smith proceeds to explain that Jesus was not interested in hierarchy at all. Jesus, she would have us think, was a modern egalitarian. The absurdity of this is breathtaking. Jesus -- the Lord -- called His disciples to follow Him. He did not follow them. He commanded them to obey His words. He did not obey theirs. Jesus castigated those who called Him Lord but did not obey Him [Luke 6:46]. He was not a mere "mentor" and "companion."

Deacon Thomas Lindell's comments add the icing to Rev. Anderson-Smith's cake. He boasts of having removed all the "power imagery" from the church's worship services. That, we might imagine, is rather hard to do. If God is not all-powerful, why worship? Without an acknowledgment of God's power, we are left with little to say. A God who is not powerful cannot help, much less save. What can you then sing? "O God our [well-intended but less-than-sovereign Spirit of helpfulness] in ages past?"

There is more:

St. Philip's isn't the only local church to re-examine its language. Other local religious leaders already are eschewing the use of "Lord" for similar reasons.

First Congregational United Church of Christ in Midtown even has a different name for The Lord's Prayer. They call it "The Prayer of Our Creator."

"We do still use the word 'Lord' on occasion, but we are suspicious of it," First Congregational pastor Briget Nicholson said. "Inclusive language is important. Our United Church of Christ hymnal does have hymns that will say 'Father' and 'God.' but the next verse will always then say 'Mother' and 'God.' It's gender-balanced."

Pastor Briget Nicholson is "suspicious" of the word "Lord" but will use it sparingly, so long as other terms -- terms not found in the Bible as divine names -- "balance" the use of "Lord."

As one might suspect, other doctrinal changes are afoot in these churches as well. Deacon Lindell explains that his church doesn't stress "the blood and gore of the crucifixion." The St. Philiip's congregation appears to play to the liberal wing of the Episcopal Church USA while Pastor Briget Nicholson is identified on her church's Web site along with her female "spouse."

When you replace the biblical names for God with those of your own choosing, you create a new religion. The evidence for this flows directly from the rejection of the Bible as the authoritative revelation of God's names. If the Bible cannot be trusted to name God correctly, then why accept its verdict on homosexuality? If the biblical names for God can be updated and renovated, then why not do the same with the doctrine of atonement?

Reporter Stephanie Innes, describing the "Come & See" worship service at St. Philip's, noted: "There's not much Lord in this church service." It may well be that more accurate words have never been used in such a report -- or more damning.

________________

We discussed this issue on Tuesday's edition of The Albert Mohler Program [listen here]. Stephanie Innes of the Arizona Daily Star joined us in the last segment of the program.

Why We Must Be Clear On The Nature of the Gospel!

From Pastor Paul Martin @ http://preacherthoughts.blogspot.com

A family in my church brought this little postcard to our service last night to show me the kind of advertising that regularly hits their door.



The cheap knock off of a declining, immoral television show aside... it was the back of the card that just about made my teeth fall out!

In case you can't read it, please note the following. This church (whose name I have blocked off the image)* will have an Easter service - to talk about desperate housewives that live in their area. Presumably, there will be some funky twist to this story that leads to an altar call.

On the 29th of this month, this progressive, edgy, cool-cat congregation will have a PG-13 service to talk about sex. And just to get you out of bed that Sunday morning at 11, is the enticing prospect of a can of whipped cream for every couple! I am not making that up.

My guess is that the whipped cream is a little joke to entice sex-starved husbands to get to the service. There will be lots of nudge-nudging and winks and double-entendre... and the lucky participants will learn that the key to a good sex life starts in the kitchen when you learn to cook with your wife... or something absolutely ridiculous like that. You see, it is not about spraying whipped cream all over each other, it is about cooking! Time together! Isn't that lovely!

I am sorry. But it is this kind of confused attempt at evangelism that makes it absolutely essential we learn what the real Gospel is and how it must be presented.

This is a desperate church... and it seems to me that had best get their own household in order.

What Does That Bible Verse Mean To You? How NOT to have a Bible study.

Another www.CrossTV.com video clip from their mini-series A Workman Approved By God. "If it feels good interpret it" - that's dangerous thinking. Some bible studies are more like "group therapy" than a bible study

How not to resolve differences

Altar Egos video game a 'guilty pleasure'

From http://www.larknews.com

REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — At a recent board meeting, pastor Darrell Smith of Trinity Fellowship put a video game controller in each member's hands. Soon the 12 men were clobbering each other on an oversized TV screen as they played Altar Egos: Rumble in the Pew, the latest church staff craze.

"I haven't felt this good about church in years," said one board member, smiling and sweating.
Video game maker Electronic Arts created Altar Egos to test the market for Christian video games. The game, which EA describes as "Grand Theft Auto without the graphic violence and sex, and set in a church building," is not yet available in stores but was sent to hundreds of churches across the U.S. where it has become an instant obsession.

"It's a guilty pleasure," says a pastor in Appleton, Wisc., who plays with his staff as weekly therapy, but keeps the game a secret from his congregation. "It keeps tempers down around here. You seek out the person you're annoyed with and whack them. They say, 'Your sermon stunk,' and they hit me with a mic stand. And I say, 'Oh yeah? Well worship was lousy,' and bonk them over the head with a family-size Bible. Then we put down the controllers, go back to work and everything's fine."

Altar Egos does have a point: to find the hidden church check book and clear the pastor's office of all other players. But most people just enjoy the rumble.

"I like ripping up the hymnals. I don't know why," says one executive pastor who asked not to be identified.

Matches often get ugly as virtual staff meetings and Sunday services go badly wrong, with people hurling folding chairs and offering plates at each other, and yelling Bible-inspired insults ("I'm gonna lay you waste, snake." Whack!).

During an afternoon round of Altar Egos at Lifeline Center in Seattle, the on-screen pastor jumped on stage and bashed his associate over the head with an acoustic guitar. The associate responded by shoving the pastor into the baptismal tank and holding him under water. The pastor's wife came to the rescue. Meanwhile, the drummer tossed cymbals into the crowd, fomenting rage within the congregation.

"This is a great round," said the associate pastor, thumbing his controller to dodge blows from the head usher. "Even the organist is getting into it."

Some churches especially enjoy the feature which allows them to put real people's faces on the computer characters. Recently, pastor Rodney Ellis of People's Church in Baltimore walked in on his youth pastor beating up an on-screen version of Ellis. The real Ellis flinched for a moment, then said, "It's okay. As long as it stays on-screen."

After a particularly stressful staff meeting recently, associate pastor Jeff Gibanelli of Mount Holyoke Methodist church in Massachusetts locked his office door and played a hard round of Altar Egos. Half an hour later he walked out of his office "feeling tremendous goodwill" toward people he had just been bashing on-screen, he says.

Critics predictably don't like the game's violence and mayhem. They especially deplore that with a secret code players can get into the nursery and trash the room — dumping Diaper Genies and smashing toys.

"Major satisfaction," says one children's ministry coordinator who plays the game most Sunday afternoons.

Because Altar Egos can be played online with up to 25 players, some computer-savvy laypeople have been able to hack in before the game is released. Staff members at Living Way Church in Mobile, Ala., were surprised when an unknown assailant crashed their online game and began calling their characters by name and beating them senseless. The mystery player not only won the game but left before they could guess his identity.

"I was looking over my shoulder the next couple of Sundays," says one staffer.
EA is "excited" about early results and may issue more titles, including one based on a missions trip gone awry.

"Do yourself a favor and don't get into it," counsels Trinity's youth pastor as his on-screen character pile-drives the church secretary. "It's addicting." •

Salvation Charms: Dont Leave Home Without Them

From www.oldtruth.com

One can only wonder how many people are carrying around these assurance trinkets nowadays. It seems so medieval and primitive, but apparently there is no shortage of folks who will put some amount of eternal trust in "a thing" that they can carry on their person. Here's an interesting side-by-side look at the eerie similarities between the Catholic and Protestant versions of good luck charms for the soul.

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Catholic Version (a necklace)	Protestant Version (a card you carry in your wallet)
My own mother wears one of these, and so far as I know - my wife's mother was still wearing one of these around her neck when she passed-away a few months ago. For those who wear them, there is a sense of importance towards keeping these on at all times, except when bathing. A line in the Wikipedia description has these jaw dropping words: "The first privilege the Virgin Mary is believed to grant to those wearing her Brown Scapular is eternal salvation, if they wear it as they die".	The ad says: "For many years, now, Crystal Cathedral Ministries has offered an important little card - your own personal Ticket to Heaven. I keep mine with me all the time in my money clip. Each card says simply this: "Anyone who comes to Me, I will in no way cast them out" (the words of Jesus Christ). Beneath Jesus' beautiful invitation into a relationship with Him, you may accept by signing your name. Once you accept Jesus as your personal Savior, it's guaranteed that, in that day in which there is no sunset and no dawning, He will open His arms and receive you..." (ht: Ingrid)

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Now, of course - neither the Catholic Church nor Robert Schuller (and his son) would go so far as to claim that these glorified good luck charms bring salvation, in and of themselves. They would have a more sophisticated explanation for the meaning behind these trinkets. Unfortunately however, that layer of theological explanation gets lost in the mix by a large number of people who carry around these items. Doubtless, many are putting some amount of eternal trust in their having these things with them at all times.

If these superstitious items seem like obvious errors to you, do you also think that way about the "magic prayer" (the Sinner's Prayer) the way it's often used in today's evangelism? It's found on most evangelism tracts and is the climax for sermons in many churches these days. It's often presented a lot like the one on this page, and after having you pray that simple prayer - the pastor goes on to talk as though you've now been born again. Does this mislead people into the same kind of false sense of security about their eternal destiny that the salvation good luck charms do? So often these presentations are done without ever using the law to stir up an awareness of sin, so as to help sinners understand WHY they need Christ in the first place. And in some circles, these magic prayers are thought to be so powerful that a drunk man can be saved by praying it and the next day not remember it happening.

These are just a few more examples of modern Christianity's acceptance of the error known as Decisional Regeneration, which imagines man at the controls of his own salvation. It's the man-centered thinking that humans have the power to activate salvation, whenever they want, like flipping on a light switch.

The "Modern Synergism" category on Old Truth is dedicated to conveying the reality that God is the one in control of salvation, not man. Not man by . . . signing cards, wearing necklaces, praying simple prayers, checking boxes on church visitor cards, being baptized, raising a hand while heads are bowed and eyes are closed, coming forward to an altar, or going into an enquiry room.

U2-Charist…What?!?!

By Brian Thornton @ http://voiceofthesheep.wordpress.com

Some of you may already be familiar with this, but an article over at drudgereport.com is the first I have heard of it. Apparently, churches are utilizing the music of U2 in their communion services to increase interest and beef up attendance. The article says that the Church of England “has announced it is to use the songs of a global supergroup in an effort to boost congregations.”

Another article from last October says, “It may not qualify as a mini-Reformation, but a Communion service driven by the music of singer Bono and his U2 bandmates is catching on at Episcopal churches across the country.”

I’ve got to hand it them, churches sure are getting more and more creative these days.

Two young girls comment on this type of service:

“It makes you, like, warm inside,” says Bridgette Roberts, 15, who is a Roman Catholic and attended a recent U2 Eucharist at All Saints’ Episcopal Church in Briarcliff Manor, N.Y. “Usually at church, you love Jesus and everything. But this way you can express how you feel.”

Says her friend, Natalie Williams, 17: “I love Bono, and you can rock out to the music. But in church, you hear it in a different way. It’s like new.”

My only question is, where’s the Gospel in all of this?

Well, that's one way to do outreach: Church Event Promises Porn, Pancakes

By The Associated Press

ONTARIO, N.Y. (AP) - It's not your typical church breakfast.

An event billed as "Porn and Pancakes" is being hosted by a church in rural upstate New York.

The breakfast discussion on the pornography industry in America is planned next month at the Living Word Assembly of God Church in the town of Ontario, in rural Wayne County about ten miles east of Rochester.

A billboard advertisement near the church shows the words "Porn and Pancakes" written in syrup on a stack of flapjacks.

Organizers tell Rochester's WHEC-TV that the February tenth event will be an honest discussion about pornography and its impact on society. The discussion will be led by Triple-X Church, a group of youth ministers who travel the country talking about porn and the porn industry.

The pastor of the Wayne County church that churches from Buffalo, Rochester and Syracuse have asked about hosting "Porn and Pancakes" events.

Sad Trends: Merit Pay for Ministry

From Christian Research Net @ http://christianresearchnetwork.com/?p=104

A Chesapeake, Virginia church is going to a performance-based bonus system. Other churches are doing the same.

“…Rex Frieze, a church management consultant in Orlando, Fla., said churches such as Deep Creek are moving in the right direction. He argued for linking part of church paychecks to achieving “defined objectives.”“If it’s a music ministry, it might be numbers growth in the choir or performances. If it’s in the evangelism area, it could be the establishment of small groups” for Bible study, he said.”

Church Pays Members to Bring in the Sheaves

From the Christian Research Net

This church is just plain giving away some hard cash. Imagine the motivation of these young people at this church, desperately trying to find warm bodies for church–not because of a love for souls, but because they want the money. Do these pastors actually ever stop and think through biblically what they are doing? The love of money is the root of all evangelism now. God simply cannot bless this kind of greed-based scheme. The end will never justify the means.